Hou...... Started writing again.

Still far away.

But at least started writing and found many relevant contens, which increased my confidence in my theory.

Why I can't write?

Fear of not doing well => Avoiding

Too strong desire to do well

Laziness: Want to avoid all the burden => But is this really a life I want? Sleeping always? Lying down on bed? No, I don't think so.

Thank you, Dr.!

Thank you for saying that, Dr. And for supporting me.

How to deal with emotional pain

<Lessons>

- Express your pain. I don't think this means that I have to accuse people or yell at them. But just communicate how I feel. However, do not expect the person will change
   # Blogging
   # Imaginar/real Letter to the person

- Don't say just yes.

- Don't be subordinate. If you want others to change their behaviors, it means that you become subordinate to the person.

- Focus on present. Don't relive past

- Have some fun

<What's core>
Yes, I deserve to be well treated. But if someone doesn't treat me well, it doesn't mean that I become a bad person or my value is low. It just mean that the person is a bad person. Whatever others do to me, I am the same decent, awesome person. It means that I feel bad because I don't have a strong confidence in my self-worth. So I can't laugh at others' criticism or rude behaviors on me. In my mind, they signal that I am not a valuable person. But let's believe in yourself, Snow. It's not relevant to who you are. You are a awesome, decent person as always!

<Gratitude>

# General
- J is always there for me and will be.
- Thank god! K at least tried.
- Your advisors are very generous.
- You got a new job, so you can afford living alone.

# Today
- F always welcome you.
- B gave me a gift.

<Anxiety>
- Lease: It will go well. Believe. The probability the person changes her mind is not that high. Just time will solve this.
- paper: just try, you have enough time
- money: It will be okay.

<Budget>
$900+$800+$330- $1400= 630*9=$5670

For May, June, and July: 1400*3= 4200

$800 for housing and utilities
$600 for living ($150: eat outside? $300 for grocery? ) From now, cut off many of the whole food and trader joe things